I hope everyone is enjoying a happy Turkey Day. (Except for the turkeys, that is — especially the ones who’ve had their heads cut off and breadcrumbs shoved up their backsides. Such indignity would put anyone in a fowl mood.)
Nevertheless, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite celebrations — due in no small part to the bountiful feast it entails.
Plus, it’s socially acceptable today to unbutton your pants at the dining-room table.
I love all the year-end holidays, starting with Halloween. The autumn chill and encroaching winter make me think of cozy evenings and toasty woodstoves, with all sorts of savory scents wafting in from the kitchen. (Just be wary of any scents that waft in after dinner, especially if Grandma put too much garlic in the mashed potatoes.)
Thanksgiving also has a sister holiday — Family Day — during which the pilgrims would rise early to buy brass hat buckles at ridiculously low prices.
Today, we use Family Day to catch up with beloved relatives (so beloved that we visit them as little as possible), and also to reflect upon the year that’s passed.
We also use it to stand outside Walmart at 4 a.m., frothing at the mouth over the Black-Friday bargains, and tramping over the dawdling jerks who are blocking the half-priced flatscreens.
But some people have to work on Family Day, which is an affront crueler than tofu turkey. While the family’s back home gorging on leftovers, you’re stuck in a despairing, empty office — because everyone but you had the foresight to take the day off.
In fact, the mere idea of your co-workers enjoying a four-day weekend makes you wish they were all choking on wishbones.
Years ago, a friend and I were working on Family Day and lunched together at the Black Bear Diner. The place was packed to the rafters (victors fresh from the Black Friday frenzy, no doubt), so they put us at a table in the very back — next to Randy Travis and his wife.
Yeah, that was surreal. We actually shared lunch with Randy Travis … by which I mean he nervously ate while we gawked at him from the neighboring table. I figured either he was in town to perform, or he was going to extraordinary lengths to avoid relatives during the holidays.
Speaking of the holidays, here’s wishing you and yours a happy Thanksgiving. Wherever you are, whomever you’re with — be it loved ones (or relatives) — we all have a lot to be thankful for today. (Especially when the relatives go home.)
And if that after-dinner scent wafting in from the living room is any indication, abundance and blessings truly abound this holiday season.