Cheating vehicular miscreants who sponge off your stops

stop sign

Unless, of course, you’re a Stop Deceiver — that is, someone who surreptitiously runs a stop sign by driving alongside another vehicle. Horrible people.

I hate it when you’re at a stop sign and a car approaches alongside you, just as you’re about to take off. Instead of stopping, they simply slow down and match your speed, to give the illusion that you’re driving in tandem.

And as you accelerate, they use your forward momentum to falsify their stoppage.

It’s an age-old con known as the “stop deception.”

These so-called “stop deceivers” are among the sneakiest of miscreants. Essentially, they abscond with your stop so they themselves can run the stop sign.

You can call them “scum,” but it’s not a strong enough word. These bottom-feeding parasites require an innocent driver from which to scrounge their stops. Without an unsuspecting, law-abiding host to drive next to, law enforcement would identify their vehicular misdeeds and put an end to their reign of wrongdoing.

They’re more numerous than one might suspect. Basically, if the timing’s right, and a conveniently placed car is waiting at the intersection, everyone and their mother will try to pull a stop deception.

It happens to me every day. I’ll come to a complete stop, and the approaching person alongside me will pilfer my momentum to plunge through the intersection, their maniacal eyes focused upon the unfolding road.

And once we’re through the intersection, they floor it — to prove to me and to the rest of the world that they’re far too superior to stop at a stop sign.

And I bow my head in abject defeat, saddened by the knowledge that my law-abiding ways are woefully inadequate. If life is a pissing contest, then I’m a browbeaten loser with an abbreviated stream. I accept that fact with every fiber of my being.

Love and God bless, stop deceivers. May a city street sweeper brush up a cloud of dust to flutter upon your freshly washed car.


14 thoughts on “Cheating vehicular miscreants who sponge off your stops

  1. Sheila Moss

    People love to speed by to feel like they can “take me” I suppose. They have no idea what my car can actually do. It laughs at them. I am also law-abiding… for a very good reason. Sports cars attract cops like flies to honey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Colane Conundrum Post author

      People do that to me, too. They’ll be going really slow, so when I try to pass them, they speed up as if we’re in a race. And then when I slow down, they slow down, too. It becomes this bizarre sort drag race where no one really wants to get ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. In My Cluttered Attic

        I think that law is so obsolete and yet another example of why our justice system is so messed up today. And you know what else, I’ve recently read where they’re about to add another law to the books. One where a woman can even say that she’s already in a relationship with another woman! Now I ask you; how’s a single man to have a chance at all, what with both sexes being otherwise completely engaged? You know, that’s going to make it virtually impossible for any man to ever get a date with a woman—unless they happen to look like George Clooney! Allen, it’s just a suggestion, but I think you might wanna go discuss this with your local plastic surgeon, before this new law of the universe hits the books.

        Liked by 1 person

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