’Tis the season to be seething

Christmas Card Colane Conundrum

Yeah, up yours too, Santa.

A relative last week mailed me a Christmas card. On the front it said, “Here’s wishing you the happiest of holidays!”

How rude, I thought. Why would he want this particular holiday — Christmas 2016 — to be my happiest? What about next year? Does he not want me to be happy then?

I don’t want this particular holiday to be my happiest. Why does this Christmas have to be the highlight of my life?

Does that mean all subsequent Christmases are going to be less happy? I’d have no reason to look forward to Christmas, knowing my “happiest” took place in 2016, and that all the rest went downhill from there.

Instead of wishing me the “happiest” of holidays, why not wish me a “happy” holiday, instead? Why put so much emphasis and expectation on this particular holiday season? I can’t handle that kind of pressure. And why should any one Christmas be happier than the other, anyway?

My relative might as well have said, “Have the happiest of holidays now, because life’s only going to get worse from here. Your future is going to be dismal and hopeless. Maybe you’ll lose your job, or the world will end in a nuclear holocaust. Or worse, maybe the Taco Bell down the street will run out of ingredients just as you’re pulling up to the window. You never know. There are so many ways life can stick it to you. So be sure to enjoy this holiday season, because you may not have anything to celebrate next year. Love you, and God bless!”

Relatives can be thoughtless sometimes. Luckily, I only see them once a year — around Christmas.

16 comments on “’Tis the season to be seething

  1. Enjoy it like it was your last, since a nuclear holocaust now looks like a definite possibility with your maniacal new president’s finger on the button. Cheers!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Why the nerve of that (soon to be DISTANT) relative! Oh dear… Allen… you wouldn’t by chance happen to be related to a jolly (rather oversized) elf, with a penchant for sending Christmas Cards wishing certain folks “the happiest of holidays” …would you? I shudder to think. Just forget I mentioned it. Merry Christmas, Allen! Uh… I uh… hope. Oh it’ll probably be just fine, but uh… have you peeked under the tree yet? Just in case. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happiest SO FAR – next year should have high standards to aspire to.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As Jason pointed out, this is the world’s last Christmas without a Trump finger poised over a big red nuclear button (which is as much as to say, this is the world’s last Christmas). I think you’re relative had a point.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Doctor Who” promotes the concept of “Last Christmas” which forwards the notion people get together at Christmas because there is always the chance it might be the last time they do so. Christmas theoretically is a special, magical moment in our lives, one often consisting of emotional reunions with people we love and cherish…or not. The concept considers some of us might pass away in the New Year…not ALL of us. (How many does that TARDIS seat again Doctor?…)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha ha ha…. you’re on the downhill slide now.
    Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

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