Falling asleep during the movie invalidates your perspective

Falling asleep during the movie invalidates your perspectiveIt was Friday night. My girlfriend, Ashley, and I were lounging at home.

“Is it my turn to pick out a movie tonight?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Ashley said. “Is it? I thought you picked out the movie last Friday?”

“What movie did I pick out?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I fell asleep.”

“Then it’s still my turn,” I said. “It doesn’t count as a turn if one of us falls asleep.”

“I can’t help it,” Ashley said, yawning and cuddling up in her blanket. “It’s just that you pick such boring movies.”

“Yeah, you’re right. They’re so dull compared to binge-watching House Hunters.”

“I like House Hunters,” Ashley said. “It’s about real people doing real things.”

“Like complaining about granite countertops and outdated appliances? Yeah, talk about on-the-edge-of-your-seat entertainment.”

Ashley yawned again and turned onto her side. “Fine. You pick the movie, then. Try to find something interesting.”

I scrolled through Netflix. “Here’s one I think you’ll like. It’s an ’80s one with Sally Field and James Garner. It’s called Murphy’s Romance. Should I put it on?”

“What’s it about?”

“Well, I’m going to go on a limb and assume it’s a romance. You like romances, don’t you?”

“You mean the kind where the man does his own laundry and lets the woman pick out the movie on Friday night?” 

“I said romance, not fantasy. The plot has to be somewhat believable.” I hit the play button and settled on the couch beside Ashley. “C’mon, let’s give this one a shot.” 

“Fine.” Ashley stretched out, snuggling tighter in her blanket. 

Just as I expected, five minutes into the movie, Ashley dozed off. I watched the remainder by myself. 

When the movie ended, I turned off the TV. Ashley mumbled, stirring under her blanket.

“Well,” I said, smiling, “what did you think?”

Ashley moaned. “That was boring. You pick the worst movies.”

“But how would you know?” I said. “You were asleep!” 

“I don’t care,” she said, sitting straight. “It was still boring.”

“You’re not allowed to have an opinion if you’re asleep,” I said. “Being asleep invalidates your perspective!” 

“No,” Ashley said. “Being asleep is my perspective. Being asleep is how I express my distaste in your choices.” 

I frowned. “Don’t you think that’s a little passive-aggressive?” 

Ashley turned to her other side, wriggling in the blanket. “If you want to make it up to me, you’ll watch a season of House Hunters with me tomorrow on HGTV.” 

2 comments on “Falling asleep during the movie invalidates your perspective

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