Entertainment

An economy where no one has to work

We live in an ultra-modern, super-high-tech society with instant messaging, social media, visual teleconferencing, desktop screen-sharing and collaborative workspaces. Yet despite all that, it’s still impossible to get a hold of anybody. In my professional career, I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone and actually gotten through. I’ve always been directed to voicemail. This frustration […]

Sick days and substitute teachers 

Substitute-teacher days were always weird. You knew something was off as soon as you walked into class. You could feel it churning in your gut – along with the undercooked corndog you’d eaten for lunch. Some random adult would be standing at the head of the classroom, looking lost and out of place, as if […]

Maybe you should try decluttering your house before listing it for sale

Years ago, I worked in a small real-estate office. One of the agents got a new listing, so she asked me to drop in and take photos. As I dropped in, my jaw dropped. Random junk sat atop every conceivable surface. It looked as if a tornado had struck a knickknack shop. There were dog […]

We’re not all that different from our bleating brethren 

People are sheep. That’s probably not the most groundbreaking of observations, but it’s a tough one to argue. Despite our advanced critical-thinking skills (which unfortunately aren’t displayed in our political institutions), humans are like animals when it comes to following the herd. Instead of engaging in self-reliance, we’ll seek out a shepherd. Instead of employing […]

Apparently, no one stole the cookies from the cookie jar

Growing up, there was always that one petulant kid who’d throw inexplicable tantrums during class. He could be mellow one moment and transform into a Tasmanian devil the next. (And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about President Trump.) You never knew what would set this kid off. Everyone would walk on eggshells in […]

That wicked-smart takedown from ‘Good Will Hunting’

I’ve always wanted to have a Good Will Hunting moment. See, there’s a scene in the movie where Ben Affleck tries talking to Minnie Driver in a bar, and a Harvard creep interrupts and starts spouting intellectual gibberish to make Affleck look stupid. (Which shouldn’t have been too hard, given that Affleck would go on […]

Toilet stall poetry

Have you ever used a public restroom, Been seated inside a stall? And have you noticed the words of wisdom, That are scrawled across the wall? Curses and verses and wisecracks. Hints and tips not taught in school. Insightful quotes by anonymous authors. Sketches of women in the nude. If you must answer the call […]

If you want to live a good life, then be like an animal 

Animals seem to have life figured out. Whereas we humans tend to overcomplicate matters, animals excel at keeping things simple. For example, animals have two primary objectives in life: hunting for food and eating food. That’s it. That’s their life. They eat food to sustain their existence. I like it. Though perhaps not the most […]

Those days when you just can’t deal

So I woke up the other morning to my alarm clock. Its relentless, piercing squawking pulled me out of a deep, restful sleep. Groaning, I reached out and fumbled around my nightstand, grasping for the snooze button. Instead of hitting it, I ended up knocking my wristwatch to the floor. “Uh,” I groaned. “I’m too […]

Giving directions using long-ago landmarks

I used to work as the receptionist for a small real-estate office. A guy walked in one morning. “I’m new in town, and I just rented a house from you guys,” he said. “Do you by chance know where the FedEx pickup box is?” “Sure,” I said. “Just go to the shopping center where the […]