Tag Archive | food

It’s always wise to have a backup plan

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

Delicious desserts with a sprinkling of dust 

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. I was one of five guys on the crew, and my boss was named Crew Leader Carl.  One day, we were barreling down the highway in the maintenance truck, our trailer swinging behind us. Lawn clippings flew out the […]

The abject inhumanity of a house without pizza 

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. I was standing in the kitchen, rummaging through the pantry.  My girlfriend, Ashley, walked into the room. “What are you doing?” “Looking for something to eat,” I said, my head buried in the pantry as I waded through cans and boxes. Ashley snickered. “With your butt sticking out like […]

A party of one isn’t much of a party

It’s inadvisable to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a date. Common sense, you say? A nugget of knowledge so blatantly obvious that it need not be spoken? Perhaps. But unfortunately, I speak from experience. Unattached and dateless — and working at a new job in a new town — […]

A side order of drama at the drive-through window 

I pulled up to the drive-through window to order lunch. The speaker clicked, then gushed out a stream of static and crackling. “Excuse me?” I asked, leaning my head out the window. The speaker hissed, then shrieked with a horrible feedback-like squeal. I jumped back, holding my ear. “Mumble mumble mumble,” said the speaker. I […]

I scream, you scream — we scream at each other about ice cream

Earlier today, I went grocery shopping for my friend, Vanessa. As I carried the sacks into the apartment, setting them on the kitchen floor, Vanessa unloaded them and put things away. “Uh oh,” she said, as I carried the last bag inside, closing the door behind me. She was standing in the kitchen, the refrigerator […]

That pizza was a bad idea

The unexpected humor potential of gut-friendly microflora

I came up with the most awesome joke the other day. And like all the best-known one-liners, it involved probiotics: “I like to take probiotics and antibiotics at the same time and let them duke it out in my stomach.”  Great stuff, right? Excellent execution, amazing creativity — the kind of joke that will inscribe […]