Tag Archive | laughs

Putting the pieces together 

It was Saturday evening, around eight. I was at my friend Ashley’s apartment. We were kneeling over the living-room coffee table, putting together a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. We’d bought it about a week ago during a weekend shopping trip. Now, after working on it for a few hours every evening since, we were almost done. […]

Hearts Flying Freely: a short story

1.  I was watching a DVD one Sunday afternoon when Annabelle broke the news. “Hey, Lyle,” she said, walking into the room. “My mom just e-mailed me. We’re invited to dinner next Saturday.” “Oh, great,” I said, groaning. She frowned. “That was real nice. What did my parents ever do to you?” “Nothing,” I said. […]

The Do-Over: a short story

1. The cafeteria smelled like greasy french fries. It always did, no matter what was being served. Today, the menu featured sliced turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. Jimmy shuddered. He approached the serving window, plastic tray in hand, and faced a tired-looking old lady wearing thick glasses and a tight hairnet. “Hi there,” Jimmy […]

The rich are suffering the most in the U.S.’s overheated housing market

According to recent data, the lack of available housing in the U.S. is pushing the rich into increasingly substandard living conditions — including homes that lack indoor swimming pools and which feature laminate floors instead of hardwood.  The finding came from a recent economic report issued by the Association for Statistical Study and Emerging Sciences, […]

Maybe you should try decluttering your house before listing it for sale

Years ago, I worked in a small real-estate office. One of the agents got a new listing, so she asked me to drop in and take photos. As I dropped in, my jaw dropped. Random junk sat atop every conceivable surface. It looked as if a tornado had struck a knickknack shop. There were dog […]

Seasoned employees don’t use exclamation points

When I compare my work e-mails today to the ones I wrote as a new hire, there’s a noticeable difference. My e-mails today — though friendly — are often brief and to the point. The sentences are simple, and the punctuation is basic. “Hi John. Please send me a copy of the check. Thank you.” […]

We’re not all that different from our bleating brethren 

People are sheep. That’s probably not the most groundbreaking of observations, but it’s a tough one to argue. Despite our advanced critical-thinking skills (which unfortunately aren’t displayed in our political institutions), humans are like animals when it comes to following the herd. Instead of engaging in self-reliance, we’ll seek out a shepherd. Instead of employing […]

Apparently, no one stole the cookies from the cookie jar

Growing up, there was always that one petulant kid who’d throw inexplicable tantrums during class. He could be mellow one moment and transform into a Tasmanian devil the next. (And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about President Trump.) You never knew what would set this kid off. Everyone would walk on eggshells in […]

That wicked-smart takedown from ‘Good Will Hunting’

I’ve always wanted to have a Good Will Hunting moment. See, there’s a scene in the movie where Ben Affleck tries talking to Minnie Driver in a bar, and a Harvard creep interrupts and starts spouting intellectual gibberish to make Affleck look stupid. (Which shouldn’t have been too hard, given that Affleck would go on […]

Toilet stall poetry

Have you ever used a public restroom, Been seated inside a stall? And have you noticed the words of wisdom, That are scrawled across the wall? Curses and verses and wisecracks. Hints and tips not taught in school. Insightful quotes by anonymous authors. Sketches of women in the nude. If you must answer the call […]