Tag Archive | laughs

A God-given gift for singing marred by bad breath 

After dinner one evening, my girlfriend, Ashley, and I settled down to watch some TV. “You get to choose tonight,” I said, leaning back on the couch. “It seems like I’ve been choosing all the movies lately.” “Are you serious?” Ashley asked. “Of course,” I said. “Fair’s fair. Whatever you choose, I’ll watch it.” “Really? […]

Requisitioning a company vehicle

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

A modern-day success story 

It was after dinner on Wednesday evening. I was in the office working on my blog. My girlfriend, Ashley, was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. (I wasn’t entirely sure how the household chores always seemed to land on her plate, but I wasn’t one to question the status quo.) As I typed, the phone […]

A surefire way to move traffic

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

Decorative, dust-covered potpourri that has no smell 

My company hired a new intern recently named Kyle. The other day, I was working in my cubicle when Kyle approached me from behind and tapped me on the shoulder.  “Excuse me,” he said, “but I was just in the restroom, and –” “I really don’t like how this conversation is starting,” I said. He […]

Big media and its incessant war against Millennials

Last week, I was invited to participate in an editorial meeting at a metropolitan newspaper. I followed all of the reporters to a conference room and took a seat. The executive editor sat in a chair near the front. “Listen up, everyone,” he said, holding up his hands. The chatter in the room slowly subsided. […]

Fulfilling your life’s purpose may be hazardous to your health 

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning. I was lying on the living-room couch in my underwear, watching TV and drinking a beer. My girlfriend, Ashley, walked into the room and stopped dead in her tracks. “Hey,” she said, motioning to me. “What’s this all about?” I let out a three-second belch. “What’s what all about?” […]

Putting the pieces together 

It was Saturday evening, around eight. I was at my friend Ashley’s apartment. We were kneeling over the living-room coffee table, putting together a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. We’d bought it about a week ago during a weekend shopping trip. Now, after working on it for a few hours every evening since, we were almost done. […]

Hearts Flying Freely: a short story

1.  I was watching a DVD one Sunday afternoon when Annabelle broke the news. “Hey, Lyle,” she said, walking into the room. “My mom just e-mailed me. We’re invited to dinner next Saturday.” “Oh, great,” I said, groaning. She frowned. “That was real nice. What did my parents ever do to you?” “Nothing,” I said. […]

The Do-Over: a short story

1. The cafeteria smelled like greasy french fries. It always did, no matter what was being served. Today, the menu featured sliced turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. Jimmy shuddered. He approached the serving window, plastic tray in hand, and faced a tired-looking old lady wearing thick glasses and a tight hairnet. “Hi there,” Jimmy […]