Tag Archive | laughs

Those days when you just can’t deal

So I woke up the other morning to my alarm clock. Its relentless, piercing squawking pulled me out of a deep, restful sleep. Groaning, I reached out and fumbled around my nightstand, grasping for the snooze button. Instead of hitting it, I ended up knocking my wristwatch to the floor. “Uh,” I groaned. “I’m too […]

Giving directions using long-ago landmarks

I used to work as the receptionist for a small real-estate office. A guy walked in one morning. “I’m new in town, and I just rented a house from you guys,” he said. “Do you by chance know where the FedEx pickup box is?” “Sure,” I said. “Just go to the shopping center where the […]

A party of one isn’t much of a party

It’s inadvisable to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a date. Common sense, you say? A nugget of knowledge so blatantly obvious that it need not be spoken? Perhaps. But unfortunately, I speak from experience. Unattached and dateless — and working at a new job in a new town — […]

A round of applause for the guy who counted Vanna White’s claps 

In a recent issue of Women’s World magazine (and please don’t ask why I’m reading Women’s World magazine), they cite a fun fact from the Guinness Book of World Records about Vanna White, the famous letter-turner from TV’s Wheel of Fortune.  According to the magazine (well, actually, according to the Guinness Book of World Records), […]

The incessant whining of House Hunters couples

If I were a masochist, I might reach out and flush the toilet while showering. Or, I could stick my hand in a beehive and pluck off a chunk of honeycomb. Or, easier yet, I could simply watch a marathon of House Hunters reruns over the weekend. Talk about excruciating agony. If you’ve read this […]

What your real-estate agent is really telling you

Real-estate professionals speak a language all their own. However, with the right training (and a couple of evening real-estate courses), you, too, can comprehend the baffling jargon agents use to confound their clients — as well as impress each other. “Today we’re going to be looking at a cozy bungalow that’s right in your price […]

A meme that only an English major can love

Either that, or a Norm Crosby fan.

’Tis the season to be seething

A relative last week mailed me a Christmas card. On the front it said, “Here’s wishing you the happiest of holidays!” How rude, I thought. Why would he want this particular holiday — Christmas 2016 — to be my happiest? What about next year? Does he not want me to be happy then? I don’t […]

Every online Office Assistant job posting

Our company has an exciting opportunity for an enthusiastic and dynamic Office Assistant. The Office Assistant will be responsible for supporting 47 senior-level executives, as well as completing degrading, rudimentary tasks — such as making coffee and sorting the mail. Qualifications: • Four-year degree required, preferably with an emphasis on structural engineering or quantum physics. […]

Stuck in the middle with you