Tag Archive | lol

Requisitioning a company vehicle

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

A modern-day success story 

It was after dinner on Wednesday evening. I was in the office working on my blog. My girlfriend, Ashley, was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. (I wasn’t entirely sure how the household chores always seemed to land on her plate, but I wasn’t one to question the status quo.) As I typed, the phone […]

A surefire way to move traffic

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

Decorative, dust-covered potpourri that has no smell 

My company hired a new intern recently named Kyle. The other day, I was working in my cubicle when Kyle approached me from behind and tapped me on the shoulder.  “Excuse me,” he said, “but I was just in the restroom, and –” “I really don’t like how this conversation is starting,” I said. He […]

Big media and its incessant war against Millennials

Last week, I was invited to participate in an editorial meeting at a metropolitan newspaper. I followed all of the reporters to a conference room and took a seat. The executive editor sat in a chair near the front. “Listen up, everyone,” he said, holding up his hands. The chatter in the room slowly subsided. […]

Fulfilling your life’s purpose may be hazardous to your health 

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning. I was lying on the living-room couch in my underwear, watching TV and drinking a beer. My girlfriend, Ashley, walked into the room and stopped dead in her tracks. “Hey,” she said, motioning to me. “What’s this all about?” I let out a three-second belch. “What’s what all about?” […]

0.2 days without a workplace-related accident

During the summer before I started college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. There were five guys on the crew — including me — and my boss was a guy named Crew Leader Carl. He had hair down to his shoulders and always had a cigarette sticking out the side of his […]

Learning invaluable lessons from an incompetent life coach 

It was around seven on Tuesday evening. My girlfriend, Ashley, and I had already eaten dinner. Now we were both sitting on the living-room couch, watching a Love It or List It rerun on TV. I was reclined with my head tilted back, and as the show played out, I started to snooze. It had […]

Not every question needs to be asked 

Years ago, before starting college, I worked as a laborer for a lawn-cutting service. We had five guys on the crew, including me, and my boss was named Crew Leader Carl. That wasn’t his legal name, in case you were wondering. That was just what we called him. (That would have been an uncanny coincidence […]

Falling asleep during the movie invalidates your perspective

It was Friday night. My girlfriend, Ashley, and I were lounging at home. “Is it my turn to pick out a movie tonight?” I asked. “I don’t know,” Ashley said. “Is it? I thought you picked out the movie last Friday?” “What movie did I pick out?” I asked. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I […]