Tag Archive | love
1. Monday morning, ten-thirty. Lyle opened the door to his one-bedroom apartment just as his girlfriend, Annabelle, was emerging from the kitchen wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. “Oh my god!” Annabelle screamed, jumping backward. “Oh my god!” Lyle screamed, jumping backward. Annabelle pulled her t-shirt to her knees. “What are you doing here?” Lyle […]
1. I was watching a DVD one Sunday afternoon when Annabelle broke the news. “Hey, Lyle,” she said, walking into the room. “My mom just e-mailed me. We’re invited to dinner next Saturday.” “Oh, great,” I said, groaning. She frowned. “That was real nice. What did my parents ever do to you?” “Nothing,” I said. […]
1. The cafeteria smelled like greasy french fries. It always did, no matter what was being served. Today, the menu featured sliced turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. Jimmy shuddered. He approached the serving window, plastic tray in hand, and faced a tired-looking old lady wearing thick glasses and a tight hairnet. “Hi there,” Jimmy […]
I’m wondering where you are tonight. I’ll tell you where I am. I’m in a smelly cab traveling through downtown, surrounded by a city that’s blinding me with neon and swallowing me whole. I’m leaning against the blotchy, fog-coated window, which feels like a sheet of ice against my flushed face and fevered cheeks. The […]
“Write me a sonnet,” Ashley said. I rolled over. My eyes felt sandy with sleep. “What did you say?” “A sonnet,” she said. “Write me one. Please.” I propped my head with my elbow, blinking. “Hon, what are you talking about? It’s one in the morning.” “You told me you’d write me a sonnet.” “Yeah, […]
It’s inadvisable to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a date. Common sense, you say? A nugget of knowledge so blatantly obvious that it need not be spoken? Perhaps. But unfortunately, I speak from experience. Unattached and dateless — and working at a new job in a new town — […]
Roberta, I hope you’re having a good evening. Thank you so much for coming. I’ve been wanting to have you over to my apartment for quite a while. I also hope you enjoyed your dinner. Sorry I burned the fish sticks! I’m just not used to baking them in the oven. I usually use the […]
If you’re looking to serenade a special someone in the moonlight, it’s never advisable to bring a synthesizer. Trust me on this one. Even if it’s portable and uses four D batteries instead of an electrical cord, the hassle is sure to undermine your amorous intentions. First of all, you have the lug the oversized thing […]
I can read women like a book. Of course, that book is an indecipherable, sprawling tome written in Egyptian hieroglyphics.
“Man” overboard? Hold on, now. Why do we have to assume it’s a man right off the bat?