Tag Archive | News

The rich are suffering the most in the U.S.’s overheated housing market

According to recent data, the lack of available housing in the U.S. is pushing the rich into increasingly substandard living conditions — including homes that lack indoor swimming pools and which feature laminate floors instead of hardwood.  The finding came from a recent economic report issued by the Association for Statistical Study and Emerging Sciences, […]

A round of applause for the guy who counted Vanna White’s claps 

In a recent issue of Women’s World magazine (and please don’t ask why I’m reading Women’s World magazine), they cite a fun fact from the Guinness Book of World Records about Vanna White, the famous letter-turner from TV’s Wheel of Fortune.  According to the magazine (well, actually, according to the Guinness Book of World Records), […]

The 10 people who really rule the world

So I won the election for President of the United States. I know; I was surprised, too. Especially since my campaign just consisted of me and Downstairs Neighbor Dave calling random people during dinnertime. Many folks screamed horrible, rage-fueled obscenities at us when we asked for their vote, but others liked my plan for nationalizing […]

Yellen farts; markets surge

U.S. stock markets rallied on news that the Fed is going to protect short-term speculators by ignoring long-term structural problems in the overall economy.

Motivational speaker relies on ‘feel-good fluff’ to inspire corporate audiences 

“Life is completely meaningless — especially if you’re a corporate drone,” says motivational speaker Iggy “The Eye-Opener” Davidson. “My job is to help people come to terms with how insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things.”