Tag Archive | People

Giving directions using long-ago landmarks

I used to work as the receptionist for a small real-estate office. A guy walked in one morning. “I’m new in town, and I just rented a house from you guys,” he said. “Do you by chance know where the FedEx pickup box is?” “Sure,” I said. “Just go to the shopping center where the […]

A party of one isn’t much of a party

It’s inadvisable to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a date. Common sense, you say? A nugget of knowledge so blatantly obvious that it need not be spoken? Perhaps. But unfortunately, I speak from experience. Unattached and dateless — and working at a new job in a new town — […]

A round of applause for the guy who counted Vanna White’s claps 

In a recent issue of Women’s World magazine (and please don’t ask why I’m reading Women’s World magazine), they cite a fun fact from the Guinness Book of World Records about Vanna White, the famous letter-turner from TV’s Wheel of Fortune.  According to the magazine (well, actually, according to the Guinness Book of World Records), […]

Stuck in the middle with you

Where everyone jogs

The lengths some people will go to steal a parking space

I happened to be following a car as it pulled into my apartment complex. It turned left at the entrance and started driving through the parking lot toward my unit. I didn’t recognize the car, so I figured it had to be a guest, and not a tenant. “I bet he tries to park in […]

I tried to help out my aunt on Thanksgiving, but I ended up being the turkey

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I went to my elderly great aunt’s house to clean up the debris in her front yard. I pulled weeds, trimmed hedges and pruned branches, then mowed the front lawn and shoveled off the poop deposited by the neighboring dogs. Only I guess I should have shoveled off the poop first, […]

A side order of drama at the drive-through window 

I pulled up to the drive-through window to order lunch. The speaker clicked, then gushed out a stream of static and crackling. “Excuse me?” I asked, leaning my head out the window. The speaker hissed, then shrieked with a horrible feedback-like squeal. I jumped back, holding my ear. “Mumble mumble mumble,” said the speaker. I […]

I didn’t buy a dishwasher to wash dishes by hand 

If it can’t go in the dishwasher, then it’s useless to me.

Apparently, my local boutique’s computer rules the planet 

I stopped at a small boutique after work to buy my friend, Vanessa, a package of eucalyptus Epsom salts for a gift. A young man was standing behind the counter at the front of the store, typing on a computer. I approached him to pay. “Hello, sir,” he said, smiling at me as I set […]