Tag Archive | random

Decorative, dust-covered potpourri that has no smell 

My company hired a new intern recently named Kyle. The other day, I was working in my cubicle when Kyle approached me from behind and tapped me on the shoulder.  “Excuse me,” he said, “but I was just in the restroom, and –” “I really don’t like how this conversation is starting,” I said. He […]

Willy Wonka and the psychedelic tunnel of horrors 

I was sitting on the living-room couch, writing on my laptop, when somebody started rattling my apartment door. Startled, I jumped up and crept toward the door. The knob continued to rattle, then someone pushed on the door, as if ramming it with their shoulder. I held my breath and looked out the peephole. All […]

A true friend

The definition of insanity

That pizza was a bad idea

Money makes the world go round

Nights in White Satin

Uninterested bartender

I’ll pay extra extra for destruction-free delivery 

I received an e-mail notification from Amazon today. Apparently, they’re refunding my money for an order that never arrived. The explanation given was that the item was “destroyed during transit.” Destroyed. Now normally I’m not one to pry into the proprietary operations of the parcel-delivering industry. The process by which an item reaches my doorstep […]

TV Guide listings for my five favorite shows

Sometimes TV Guide listings can be a little *too* detailed.