Tag Archive | relationships

A God-given gift for singing marred by bad breath 

After dinner one evening, my girlfriend, Ashley, and I settled down to watch some TV. “You get to choose tonight,” I said, leaning back on the couch. “It seems like I’ve been choosing all the movies lately.” “Are you serious?” Ashley asked. “Of course,” I said. “Fair’s fair. Whatever you choose, I’ll watch it.” “Really? […]

The abject inhumanity of a house without pizza 

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. I was standing in the kitchen, rummaging through the pantry.  My girlfriend, Ashley, walked into the room. “What are you doing?” “Looking for something to eat,” I said, my head buried in the pantry as I waded through cans and boxes. Ashley snickered. “With your butt sticking out like […]

The Ex-Executive Assistant: a short story

1. Monday morning, ten-thirty. Lyle opened the door to his one-bedroom apartment just as his girlfriend, Annabelle, was emerging from the kitchen wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. “Oh my god!” Annabelle screamed, jumping backward. “Oh my god!” Lyle screamed, jumping backward. Annabelle pulled her t-shirt to her knees. “What are you doing here?” Lyle […]

Falling asleep during the movie invalidates your perspective

It was Friday night. My girlfriend, Ashley, and I were lounging at home. “Is it my turn to pick out a movie tonight?” I asked. “I don’t know,” Ashley said. “Is it? I thought you picked out the movie last Friday?” “What movie did I pick out?” I asked. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I […]

Hearts Flying Freely: a short story

1.  I was watching a DVD one Sunday afternoon when Annabelle broke the news. “Hey, Lyle,” she said, walking into the room. “My mom just e-mailed me. We’re invited to dinner next Saturday.” “Oh, great,” I said, groaning. She frowned. “That was real nice. What did my parents ever do to you?” “Nothing,” I said. […]

The Do-Over: a short story

1. The cafeteria smelled like greasy french fries. It always did, no matter what was being served. Today, the menu featured sliced turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. Jimmy shuddered. He approached the serving window, plastic tray in hand, and faced a tired-looking old lady wearing thick glasses and a tight hairnet. “Hi there,” Jimmy […]

Ode to a bygone love

I’m wondering where you are tonight. I’ll tell you where I am. I’m in a smelly cab traveling through downtown, surrounded by a city that’s blinding me with neon and swallowing me whole. I’m leaning against the blotchy, fog-coated window, which feels like a sheet of ice against my flushed face and fevered cheeks. The […]

A ‘vintage’ love story

“Write me a sonnet,” Ashley said. I rolled over. My eyes felt sandy with sleep. “What did you say?” “A sonnet,” she said. “Write me one. Please.” I propped my head with my elbow, blinking. “Hon, what are you talking about? It’s one in the morning.” “You told me you’d write me a sonnet.” “Yeah, […]

It’s not technically cheating if it’s in a parallel universe 

I was eating dinner the other night with my friend, Vanessa. “This is really good, Angela,” I said, shoveling peas in my mouth. “You totally outdid yourself tonight.” Vanessa set down her fork. “What did you call me?” I looked up. “Pardon?” Vanessa’s eyes widened. “Did you just call me Angela?” I blinked and swallowed […]

I scream, you scream — we scream at each other about ice cream

Earlier today, I went grocery shopping for my friend, Vanessa. As I carried the sacks into the apartment, setting them on the kitchen floor, Vanessa unloaded them and put things away. “Uh oh,” she said, as I carried the last bag inside, closing the door behind me. She was standing in the kitchen, the refrigerator […]