Tag Archive | satire

The rich are suffering the most in the U.S.’s overheated housing market

According to recent data, the lack of available housing in the U.S. is pushing the rich into increasingly substandard living conditions — including homes that lack indoor swimming pools and which feature laminate floors instead of hardwood.  The finding came from a recent economic report issued by the Association for Statistical Study and Emerging Sciences, […]

When you’re less successful than an empty desk

It’s not exactly a confidence booster when somebody gets introduced to an empty desk and ignores you completely.  This happened to me years ago, and it’s happened to other people I know, too. I was working at my desk when a manager tromped in with a high-level executive. I had heard that she would be […]

An economy where no one has to work

We live in an ultra-modern, super-high-tech society with instant messaging, social media, visual teleconferencing, desktop screen-sharing and collaborative workspaces. Yet despite all that, it’s still impossible to get a hold of anybody. In my professional career, I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone and actually gotten through. I’ve always been directed to voicemail. This frustration […]

That wicked-smart takedown from ‘Good Will Hunting’

I’ve always wanted to have a Good Will Hunting moment. See, there’s a scene in the movie where Ben Affleck tries talking to Minnie Driver in a bar, and a Harvard creep interrupts and starts spouting intellectual gibberish to make Affleck look stupid. (Which shouldn’t have been too hard, given that Affleck would go on […]

Those days when you just can’t deal

So I woke up the other morning to my alarm clock. Its relentless, piercing squawking pulled me out of a deep, restful sleep. Groaning, I reached out and fumbled around my nightstand, grasping for the snooze button. Instead of hitting it, I ended up knocking my wristwatch to the floor. “Uh,” I groaned. “I’m too […]

The incessant whining of House Hunters couples

If I were a masochist, I might reach out and flush the toilet while showering. Or, I could stick my hand in a beehive and pluck off a chunk of honeycomb. Or, easier yet, I could simply watch a marathon of House Hunters reruns over the weekend. Talk about excruciating agony. If you’ve read this […]

Social interaction

If by “social interaction” you mean posting my symptoms on an IBS forum … then yes, I engage in lots of social interaction.

Compelling case

That voice in the back of my head, telling me I’m not good enough … it does make a compelling case.

Unknown

“My only wish is for the world to remember me when I’m gone.” — Unknown

Stairway to heaven

Crazy! If you listen to “Stairway to Heaven” forwards, you hear a lot of strange lyrics that don’t make sense!